Role Models and Pole Dancers: the Miley Cyrus Dilemma

I would love to say that I am above this petty nonsense, but considering Super Boy has a 13 year-old sister, I know more about Miley Cyrus than I ever wanted to stomach. But she's everywhere, this happy, peppy, Disney manufactured icon; she's got her own clothing lines, toys, music, movies, even snack food. While I have my reasons for not liking her (she's got a voice like a choking mule), I can't say much. The future daughter- and sister-in-law is a very delicate position. And she's promoted as sweet, innocent and wholesome, but there is a darker side lurking. This seems to be a pattern that repeats itself every few years. Look at Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. One day they are kid friend, and the next they are shaving their heads, drunk driving and flashing their genitals. And now Miley is jumping on their bandwagon, taking topless photos for magazines, flipping the bird and pole dancing at a kid's award show. Classy.

So if this is the kind of role model we are setting forth as appropriate for tweens, what messages are we sending? That it's ok for a 16 year-old to pole dance? Giving the finger is an ok way to express yourself? Taking topless photos and lying seductively across your dad is normative behavior? Gender stereotypes abound! We are teaching young girls at a formative point in their lives that the media is a reliable and appropriate place to get their system of morals, ethics and beliefs. The media has been linked to many different issues facing young girls and women ranging from anorexia and to poor self-esteem and body image. And Miley Cyrus is the role model we are shoving down their throats. Is it any wonder that what is considered "normative" is actually so harmful?

What girls need are role models who offer something substantial; people with brains, creativity, bravery, strength, and yes, maybe even beauty too, but not the stereotypical, prepackaged beauty Hollywood spits out. Girls need to want to be themselves, not some hyped-up teen drama queen. So how do we do this? Well, it starts with parents and guardians being the bad guys and saying no, I don't think that Hannah/Miley/Uber Skank is a good role model. And then you have to explain why. Talk to your kids about the toys they play with, the music they listen to and the movies they watch. Talk to them about what these things teach, and try to explain what fantasy is and how real life is different. Give them honest, realistic values to live by, not those that come with a brand name.

As for Miley herself, I can't wait to watch this pop princess crash and burn. I give her two years until she's snorting lines of coke off of some guy's chest. 

Gone to the Dogs

So here is a hot topic in New Jersey's law enforcement community. Atlantic City, the (in)famous tourist destination, is known as much for its casinos and boardwalks as its reputation for drugs, prostitutes and murder. While great strides have been taken in the past decade (you don't find nearly as many used needles in the streets as you used to), it is still a city with a crime problem. Now, this is not to say that everyone who lives there is a criminal; far from it, in fact. And it is just as unfair to say that crime runs rampant and unchecked; the police force is efficient and organized, and the State Police even have special interests in the area adding further protection.

Researchers have any number of different criminological theories discussing what creates crime and criminals, and Atlantic City is as good a place as any to see them in action. The constant fluctuation of the population creates tension and unrest. Think of the double-decker trains now running from New York City to the casinos. An entirely new (and perhaps even unsavory) group of people are now being introduced to the area on a temporary basis. When a community is constantly changing and the inhabitants are temporary there is a risk of decreasing attachment to the neighborhood and social morals failing.

Now the police's ability to fight crime and keep the community safe has been limited to an even greater extent as the result of a political power trip. In summary: man breaks law, police tell man to surrender, man refuses. Police K-9 apprehends man, so, of course, man sues. They mayor says he's imposing the ban on behalf of the citizens who complained, but the police aren't buying it. They are calling it a purely political move, and they are worried, and rightfully so, that their ability to protect the public will be compromised.

This is a classic example of criminal justice policy not reflecting criminal justice realities. It's all well and good to impose statutes and write code, but if it doesn't work on the street it's useless at best and harmful at worst.

Moral of the story? Pick different vacation spot on the Jersey Shore.

For more on this story, follow the link below to the AP article.

http://www.nj.com/news/index.ssf/2009/08/atlantic_city_indefinitely_sus.html

Here comes the bitch…

So Super Boy and I spent last night at a family wedding; my cousin (who is practically a brother, really) married a very, very sweet girl in an outdoor ceremony followed by an incredibly fun reception. The music was phenomenal, the food was to die for, and all of my family turned out for the party. It was a wonderful night celebrating two wonderful people.

Not everyone at the wedding, however, was well behaved.
I have not spoken very much about my immediate family yet, but I have two sisters, both younger. We are all 2 ½ years apart, and while my youngest sister, Weasel, and I get along usual, the middle sister Lady Diva and I do not. Diva is evil. Yes, I know, all sisters fight, but this goes beyond that. Diva has lied to my parents about me to cause trouble, spread rumors about me, and once even tried to punch me in the face in the middle of a church. On Easter Sunday. We have hated each other from birth, and honestly, things aren't likely to change (more on our complicated relationship to come).
Now Lady Diva and her long time boyfriend, the obnoxious Gavone (again, a story for another time), were at the wedding of course. Now typically these two split off and do their own things at family gatherings, but since it was a wedding I was forced to endure their company most of the evening. To make matters worse, Diva didn't appreciate being out of the limelight. Not wanting to be merely a spectator at this event, she pulled a major coupé right under our parents' noses and tried to upstage the bride.
Yes. Lady Diva threw a fit in the middle of the wedding. First, she bought a white dress. True, it has a green sash and delicate flower pattern on it, but the rest was white as snow. And, to add insult to injury, Diva had a tiara perches atop her updo. A golden, sparkly tiara of all things. If her appearance wasn't enough, she actually walked out of the ceremony just as the bride was coming down the aisle, complaining of feeling "really quite faint." It was a hot day, but nearly hot enough to disrupt the wedding for a fainting spell.
Luckily, I don't think the bride noticed; it was her special day, and it makes me fume to think of Lady Diva and her petty tantrums. But you have to wonder what this kind of behavior says about my family and about wedding etiquette today in general. Wearing white to a wedding is still considered a faux pas, and rightly so. But many other behaviors, such as bringing a guest uninvited or wearing electric pink mini dresses, are becoming if not accepted then certainly less frowned upon. Personally, I think Emily Post had the right idea. A wedding is a special celebration centering on two people; their guests have no right to draw away that focus. When in doubt, it is best to err on the side of tradition and opt not to wear the gold sequins.
As for my family, it hints at the tensions and dysfunction underneath the surface. For my parents to let Diva's behavior go without comment is disappointing. At 20 years old, you'd think they put a little more pressure on her to grow up and act like a decent human being. Even Weasel, who has an admitted flair for drama and is the baby of the family, acted with more maturity and grace. If this is how my family acts at the happiest of occasions, it makes you wonder what the bad times look like.
And just think, I get to be in the center of all this madness in a few years.
Dum dum da dum…

Again, a failure of justice…

So the Lockerbie Bomber has been set free, all in the name of compassion. The Scottish courts say that the former Libyan intelligence officer is dying of prostate cancer, and with Ramadan approaching it would be a great show of mercy is they released him on compassionate grounds. Which I find incredibly ironic. Here is a man with absolutely no compassion and an absolute contempt for the sanctity of life… and the courts think that he deserves the mercy he'd never show to others. Now I hesitate to say that Hammurabi and his theory of "an eye for an eye" is really applicable in today's society… but should a punishment reflect the crime committed and the intent behind it? There are times to show mercy, and then there are times to recognize that the man is a terrorist who blew up a plane and the fact that he's dying a slow and painful death is probably divine justice.

Of course, there is always the argument that it is takes a bigger person to forgive those that do wrong to them, and many British don't think he's guilty in the first place (which I think is ridiculous, seeing as the Libyan government actually accepted responsibility and paid the families compensation). Even some of the victims' families, such as the British Rev. John Mosey, whose daughter Helga, 19, died in the attack, said Wednesday he would be glad to see al-Megrahi return home."It is right he should go home to die in dignity with his family. I believe it is our Christian duty to show mercy," he said. But forgiving someone shouldn't let them off the hook (and to be honest, the Scots can hold a grudge with the best of them).

Compassion maybe be a noble sentiment, but it doesn't translate well across cultures. In the West forgiveness and mercy is a great virtue; in Libya, this gesture will be seen as a great weakness and Abdel Baset al-Megrahi will be welcomed home as a hero regardless of very stern warnings from the US and Britain. The Libyans, and likely very many others across the world, will give lip service to the wishes of the West, note the very conspicuous silence from the Libyan government on the matter for fear of reprisal and losing their tenuous position as an up-and-coming nation. The government knows this issue requires extremely careful handling. But behind their hands they laugh. Petals are strewn before al-Megrahi's feet, flags waved in celebration and crowds flack to welcome him home in triumph.

And what about the other victims' families? Many of the passengers were Americans, and their loved ones aren't inclined to show compassion. "I'm totally against it. He murdered 270 people," said Paul Halsch of Perinton, New York, who lost his 31-year-old wife in the attack. "This might sound crude or blunt, but I want him returned from Scotland the same way my wife Lorraine was ... and that would be in a box."

Regardless of what the courts think "just," the question of what is "fair" remains. And we must ask ourselves how and when mercy and compassion can play a role in the criminal justice system, especially in cases of such extreme hate and cruelty.

For more from the AP News story, visit the below link.
http://www.optimum.net/News/AP/Article?articleId=599375&categoryId=22.

The difference between what’s just and what’s fair

When you are living in a city that is rabid about its sports teams, you tend to hear all the gossip almost as soon as it happens. Michael Vick signing with the Philadelphia Eagles is no different. I am not an Eagles fan (in fact, I loathe them, but that's another story), but even if I were I'd have to seriously reconsider my loyalties. After the dog fighting scandal and the overwhelming disgust shown by the American people as a result, you'd think he'd be a pariah in our society, and certainly not a hot pick for a football team. Apparently, I stand corrected.

Now there is justice, and then there is fairness. According to the courts system, "justice" has been served for Michael Vick. He was sentenced to prison, served his time and is now released back into society to become a productive citizen once more. Considering criminal justice and criminology are my fields of study, I would usually be one of the first people to recognize the logic of this system. But I don't feel like Vick's punishment even remotely reflects the crime. The animals on his Bad Newz Kennels were tortured. Many died, and others were so physically and psychologically traumatized they needed to be humanely put down. These dogs didn't get to spend their time being the big man on campus at some federal prison where he was most definitely deferred to as the local celebrity. I don't think Michael Vick ever had to worry about dropping the soap or getting shanked in the chow line. Let's face it: the bastard got off easy. But the courts think he's paid his debt to society and should be a free man once more. That is their interpretation of justice.

Now what would be fair? Well, these dogs didn't get preferential treatment when Vick was hanging the weakest of them for losing matches, or starving them to make them vicious fighters. Vick is out of prison, true. But she should never get to go back to his old life. The damage to these animals cannot be undone, and he should not be allowed to wipe his slate clean and pretend nothing ever happened. That is a mockery of what is right. It's just not fair. Does he deserve to make a living? Of course he does. The stigma of a conviction should not be an insurmountable barrier for anyone. But should he get to play professional football, certainly not a right but a rare privilege, and make millions? Absolutely not. He should certainly get a job. Maybe he can flip burgers, stock shelves or clean up dog parks.

So who wins in the end? Surprisingly, it's the dogs. Through incredible amounts of patience, handwork and unwavering love, many of these dogs have found families and loving homes. In fact, some have become ambassadors for the pit bull breed, disproving the myth that they are natural born killers. If they are naturally born to do anything, it's probably snuggling. Look at Leo. This handsome guy with his colorful clown collar is covered in scars from his fighting days. But his new career? He's now a service dog, keeping chemo patients company during their treatments and showing them that anything is possible, no matter how bleak things may look. He is proof that in spite of cruelty, and in spite of Michael Vick, there is always a chance for another start. Now that is a good dog.

So to all the Eagles fans out there, keep on loving your team if you must, but if you love animals and human decency too, then maybe you should rethink your alliances.

Recipe Puppy, a new favorite thing of mine…

I have a new love in my life. Meet "Recipe Puppy," a little pug that "fetches" recipes for you based on what you already have in your kitchen (plus or minus a few ingredients). Not only does this help immensely when you are trying to make dinner on a budget and with what you have on hand, the recipes are fresh, varied and easy to personalize.

Perfect for a foodie on a budget!

Check out the new gadget posted under my "favorite things" bar. Try it for yourself, and I guarantee Recipe Puppy will steal your heart and make your mouth water.