Now this is culture!

I recently downloaded all of Shakespeare's sonnets from the Listening Library for free! So obviously I am revisiting my glory days of Shakespeare plays and Ms. Czekaj's class, thinking about the annual "I Love My Willy... Shakespeare" performance.

Who says grad students have no class?

Crockpot Beef Stew

Rabbit Rabbit!

My maternal grandfather, Papa, has always been an inspiration to me; my earliest memories of him are in the kitchen, tasting whatever he was cooking. There is no meal in the world more delectable than Papa's broccoli-rabe, beef stew and his own invention, potato pie. My offhanded, handful of  this, handful of that cooking style is a direct result of watching him throw whatever is on hand into a pot and creating something spectacular.

My quest into graduate school is also inspired by him. When I was little I was slightly awed by him and how he can talk about any subject with authority. He tells the most incredible stories about his childhood, time in the Navy, career as a police officer and everything in between. When I was in college and studying the court system he'd lend be books on Justice Oliver Wendell Holmes and landmark Supreme Court decisions. His passion for learning and desire for me to get the best education possible is one of the main reasons I went to grad school.

Consider this improvised beef stew recipe as an ode to Papa and a learning experience!

Crockpot Beef Stew
1 pound of cubed beef stew meat (or more if desired)
4 large potatoes
4 cloves garlic, chopped or pressed
1 tbs paprika (I don't have it on hand and usually substitute with taco seasoning)
2 tbs soy sauce (or Worcestershire)
1 onion, chopped
1 1/2 cups beef broth (or whatever, bullion and water works, too)
1 cup wine (red or white, you pick)
2 carrots, cut into sticks (or chopped in a food processor to save you time)
1/3 cup brown sugar
1 cup homemade tomato sauce (or 4 chopped fresh tomatoes)
Grind to a Salt (have you noticed I love this stuff?)
Freshly ground black pepper
Some flour

Combine broth, wine, soy sauce, tomatoes, brown sugar, paprika, some seasoned salt and pepper in the slow cooker and set to high (4-6 hours cook time) or low (8-10 hours cook time) depending on when you want to eat.

Wash, peel and chop potatoes, carrots, onion and garlic. Throw them into the broth.

Take your stew meat and put it into a zip-lock bag. Sprinkle some flour over it and salt and pepper it a bit. Close the bag and give it a good shake to coat the meat (or, in the words of Weasel, "Shake it like a Polaroid picture!"). Throw this in the fridge for a few minutes while you drag out a frying pan and add just enough olive oil to coat the bottom on the pan and let the flame heat it up on high. Toss in the now coated meat and saute until nice and brown. It doesn't have to be cooked all the way, because  you will now throw it into the slow cooker with all the rest to continue cooked. Make sure the pot is covered, and walk away (cocktails, anyone?).

Enjoy!

Note: The measurements in this recipe are arbitrary. I usually just pour, sprinkle, toss and add according to my whim, what I have in the fridge, and what kind of flavor I am looking for. The beauty of this method? I have a base recipe I can work with, and I also have the freedom to experiment!

Project Hera: On Hold

Darn, and just when I was really getting into it, too! I'm sorry to say that Project Hera has been postponed for at least a few weeks, but at least with good cause.

It turns out that Weasel needed the book more than I do. As we pack her and her spinning wheel off to college, she's really worried that she won't make friends, won't fit in, isn't attractive... all fears I can debunk in about half a second, but let's face it: hearing it and believing it are totally separate things.

As much as I want to just sit Weasel down and tell her that in college there are no popular kids, and the people who were losers in high school meet all the other losers from high school and suddenly no one is a loser anymore and you have friends who know and love you. Hey, I met Super Boy the first day of college, so anything is possible!

But Weasel needs to learn all of this for herself. And I want her to feel as confident and self-assured as possible, so my copy of Seven Days to Sex Appeal is now (temporarily) in her hands. What does she hope to gain from it? Well, that's her business, but I get the feeling that, like me sadly, she just needs a boost in her assertiveness, self-confidence and just become more aware of herself in general.

So go forth and learn Weasel, and who knows? Maybe you can teach me a thing or two!

Project Hera: Day 1

I have dubbed my experiment in assertiveness and gender signals "Project Hera." If haven't brushed up on your Greek mythology recently,  Hera was the wife of Zeus, the king of the gods, and had a reputation for both beauty and her temper. Unlike Aphrodite, the beautiful but vapid goddess of love, Hera was both beautiful and strong willed. Case in point: she had a history of turning her husbands many mistresses into farm animals to prove a point.

Not there's a lady to admire...

Anyway, today's adventures in sex appeal and confidence focused on something I am already very conscious of  and working hard to improve: my posture.

I slouched a lot as a kid because I was taller than most girls and I wanted to fit it, and now my bad habit, combined with a curvy figure, ends up making my look about 15 lbs heavier than I really am. So after reading the first chapter I put the lessons into practice... at the local Sam's Club.

Well, it could be worse...

What did I learn? Standing up straight, chin parallel to the floor with the pelvis forward (to make your bottom perky and tummy flat) is a lot harder than it sounds. I also felt very self conscious, as if curling my spine over myself makes me invisible somehow (hmmm... insightful, no?). It did, however, help me in some respects. Salespeople noticed me quicker than usual, and they were more willing to help me.

So today's results indicate that they way I carry myself might actually help to make favorable first impressions. It will take practice, however, until I am comfortable applying these techniques.

More adventures to come...

Note: there are also lessons in the first chapter on how different sitting positions can be sexy, assertive, feminines, etc... but it was way too complicated as far as I'm concerned. Maybe I'll revisit it later.

Because I am not sexy...

I have a confession to make: I am not hot. I am not particularly thin, my face is not particularly beautiful, and I don't know what to do with hair and clothing. Yes, I do have clinically diagnosed body dysmorphic disorder, but regardless, I am still convinced that, although I am told I am pretty, I do not see myself in that way and I do not think I attract positive attention.

It also doesn't help that I have low self-esteem or confidence.

In an effort to make me feel better about myself, Super Boy recommended  I buy this book, not so much as to be "sexier" but more assertive and confident in social situations, which, if you are a habitual reader, you know I am not.

So this is my seven day experiment: I will practice one of the lessons every few days and report my findings. If nothing else, this could be a fascinating read on the power of body language...

Serving the State: the perils of jury duty

I often joke about how I am not ready to be a grown up and I'd much rather hide under my bed all day. I am without a doubt 5 years-old at heart, and I'd like nothing more the spend the first few days of summer vacation in my pajamas eating ice pops and watching Disney movies. Unfortunately, in the eyes of the state at least, I am  most definitely a grown up and therefore I am required to serve the state in the most irritating and mind numbingly boring ways possible.

I am now eligible to sit as a juror.

In an incredible stroke of irony, I was called to serve on a jury today, just days after I finished my last exam.The little form came in the mail, and, under penalty of being held in contempt of court, I went to the county courthouse this morning and settled in for a long, boring day. Summer break would just have to be put on hold. Armed with snacks and a few novels, I watched the criminal justice system unfold in front of me, and boy is it ugly.

To add insult to injury it's a beautiful, cool spring day out after nearly a week of unseasonably low temperatures and constant drizzle.  But there I was, doing my civic duty by sitting in this converted block of jail cells turned conference room with a very varied slice of humanity slouching in office chairs. Even worse was the educational film "We the Jury: the basics of court proceedings" that we were forced to watch.

Believe it or not, I'm pretty sure I covered how a jury works at some point during my 5 years of study in criminal justice and criminology.

Of course I know that a jury is an important part of the court process and that the system could not function without citizens serving on juries in both criminal and civil cases. I am, however, not sure I'm the best person for the job. After so much exposure to the criminal justice system through classes, studies and internships I am in now way impartial and unbiased. I've written papers on the ineffectiveness of courts. I've interned with the state police. I've blatantly said that, 9 times out of 10, I'll probably take the side of the state in any criminal proceeding (and I really feel, at least sometimes, that defendants are probably guilty of something if they are there in the first place). I'm getting my doctorate in criminal justice for crying out loud!

I know too much about the field. I am a prosecutor's dream and a defense attorney's worst nightmare.  I'd make a terrible juror.

Lucky for me (and those involved in any of the three cases I could have been selected for), the judges presiding today were not ready to pool a jury, so I was freed from the possibility of sitting through voir dire (jury selection procession) and will not have to serve on an actual jury and sit through a trial. I was released with the thanks of the state, and I practically sprinted out of there.

After all, doesn't it make you feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that your time is worth $5 and a free cup of coffee?

What I've learned in grad school... so far

Summer has officially begun! Break out the margaritas, stuff the criminology books under the bed and let's head to the beach!

In all seriousness, it's been a long year, but I can honestly say that I have finished my first year of grad school and I did it well. I have, of course, learned a great deal about criminological theory, policing and statistics. But the greatest lessons I have learned have very little to do with academic.

So without further ado, the top three things I've learned in grad school:

3. When in doubt be vague. Didn't read that article? Didn't understand that last stats problem? Have no idea what your professor is asking you? Be vague. Start with "Well, there are several theories regarding that..." and end with "... but of course, there are different ways to see this." And if all else fails, smile blandly and say that you were wondering about that too, and what did the professor think about that? It just wasn't clear...

2. You can stand a lot more than you realize. From filthy roommates to 10 page papers weekly, you can get through a lot more dysfunction that you think. It takes planning, it takes patience, and it takes a whole lot of reminding yourself that everything works out in the end. This mantra, "everything will be okay," has kept me sane. And in the end, you actually get a lot more work done when you keep your eye on the big picture.

1. By far the most important thing I've learned in grad school... when it's done it's done. Like reminding yourself that everything works out in the end, letting go of perfection and instead focusing on getting things just done and done well enough is freeing. It's not about doing a job half way or not caring about assignments. Instead, it encourages getting things done, and done well, without going overboard and driving yourself nuts. And sometimes it's better to just finish a project than slave over it and worry.

It's been a long, stressful, busy year and I've busted my butt to get everything in order. But the greatest lesson of all is to trust in yourself, and trust in the higher powers in the world to get you through.

What is Criminological Theory and Why Does it Matter?

So the semester has started up again, and so has all the nonsense. Toad is being Toad, bragging about a "grant" that isn't all that much to brag about, because I doubt the existence any such thing. And, of course, professors are being professors, adding "last minute" books that we need for yesterday ( and are hundreds of dollars to boot) and handing out syllabi that make no sense (there are only 14 weeks in a semester). So the typically stress has started up again, and the petty annoyances are just that: petty and annoying. In the end, I'll laugh, I'll cry, I'll freak out and I'll work my butt off. And I'll be fine after all.

Obviously, grad school is very different from college, and a PhD program is going to be different from a master's program. But in the end, the subject matter is the same: criminal justice is the study of crime and practitioners in the field, and criminology is the study of the causes of crime. This is an oversimplification; the real definition is amorphous and intricate and there is no one right answer, making it a bit difficult to explain to the layman (or just wrap your head around in general). I have this problem with my family and friends quite often, particularly my grandmother. She is thrilled to have a grandduaghter working towards a PhD, thrilled beyond belief. But she has no real understanding of the material, just a general sense of what I might be working on at any given time. And that is perfectly normal.

So why does theory matter? If it's so hard to pin point and there are so many conflicting views, then why bother? Well, in order to try and change crime, you need to know what causes it. For instance, let's say there is a burning building. You could just throw water on it and be done. But that might be a temporary fix; what caused the building to light on fire in the first place? What is the root cause? By identifying the cause of the fire, you know whether you have to shut of the gas lines, find an arsonist, or take that pack of matches from the toddler. You see? In order to fix a problem, you need to identify what's causing the problem.

If you think crime is caused by biological factors, then identifying a "crime gene" or medicating offenders will fix crime. If you think it is a matter of social inequalities an upheaval, then social programs and community involvement will stop crime. And if you think that crime is a function of the ruling class's oppression of the under class, then the redistribution of wealth and power within society is the answer. These are by no means the only theories out there, but I think it illustrates the point. If you want to change something, you need to know what needs to be fixed first.

If you are looking for books on criminological theory, I have two to recommend. The first is Cullen and Agnew's Criminological Theory: past to present. Unlike other tests that just summaries theories, this work offers the original articles that have become landmarks in the study of criminology. There is also a very handy grid in the first few The second is my personal favorite, Lilly, Cullen and Ball's Criminological Theory: Context and Consequence. Again, unlike other textbooks this work offers not just the theories, but the social, economic, political and cultural climate and changes that prompted new theories to develop. There are also discussions on whether these theories worked, and the long lasting effects of programs implemented on these recommendations. I personally felt that the chronological structure of this book, complete with the historical subtexts, gave me a greater understanding of where the theories came from and what they were a reaction to.

Theory may not be my favorite facet of my studies, but it's an important one. In order to understand where you are going, yo need to know what came before you. Happy theorizing!