Role Models and Pole Dancers: the Miley Cyrus Dilemma

I would love to say that I am above this petty nonsense, but considering Super Boy has a 13 year-old sister, I know more about Miley Cyrus than I ever wanted to stomach. But she's everywhere, this happy, peppy, Disney manufactured icon; she's got her own clothing lines, toys, music, movies, even snack food. While I have my reasons for not liking her (she's got a voice like a choking mule), I can't say much. The future daughter- and sister-in-law is a very delicate position. And she's promoted as sweet, innocent and wholesome, but there is a darker side lurking. This seems to be a pattern that repeats itself every few years. Look at Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan. One day they are kid friend, and the next they are shaving their heads, drunk driving and flashing their genitals. And now Miley is jumping on their bandwagon, taking topless photos for magazines, flipping the bird and pole dancing at a kid's award show. Classy.

So if this is the kind of role model we are setting forth as appropriate for tweens, what messages are we sending? That it's ok for a 16 year-old to pole dance? Giving the finger is an ok way to express yourself? Taking topless photos and lying seductively across your dad is normative behavior? Gender stereotypes abound! We are teaching young girls at a formative point in their lives that the media is a reliable and appropriate place to get their system of morals, ethics and beliefs. The media has been linked to many different issues facing young girls and women ranging from anorexia and to poor self-esteem and body image. And Miley Cyrus is the role model we are shoving down their throats. Is it any wonder that what is considered "normative" is actually so harmful?

What girls need are role models who offer something substantial; people with brains, creativity, bravery, strength, and yes, maybe even beauty too, but not the stereotypical, prepackaged beauty Hollywood spits out. Girls need to want to be themselves, not some hyped-up teen drama queen. So how do we do this? Well, it starts with parents and guardians being the bad guys and saying no, I don't think that Hannah/Miley/Uber Skank is a good role model. And then you have to explain why. Talk to your kids about the toys they play with, the music they listen to and the movies they watch. Talk to them about what these things teach, and try to explain what fantasy is and how real life is different. Give them honest, realistic values to live by, not those that come with a brand name.

As for Miley herself, I can't wait to watch this pop princess crash and burn. I give her two years until she's snorting lines of coke off of some guy's chest.